Some thoughts on individuality

   I wonder how our children will want to be treated as they grow up? I didn’t have any siblings growing up so I don’t know what it is like to “share” the spotlight or “share” parents. I can imagine that there would be times that are difficult to a child when their parents are focusing or praising the other. I imagine it might be worse for twins. The competition, I think, can easily get out of hand. The more I read about what adult twins wish or regret, the more I think a balance of focus on individuality and unity is very important.

   Although I think that our boys should be in the same class in school, I think that they also need to spend alone time with each parent/grandparent/friend. I think they need equal recognition and praise for accomplishments, but I shouldn’t compare or encourage competition between them. They are individuals and should be treated as such.

   The one regret/disappointment I read over and over is that twins had a lack of individual pictures taken of themselves, especially as infants.  I like this idea of individuality. I think that, although I will take a bazzilion pictures of our boys together, I will now make sure that they have photo opportunities and treasures they can call their own and I will make individual albums of each boy.

   I think I can help strengthen a sense of individuality by making sure some of our boy’s possessions are clearly identified. Making sure they each have something to call their own, whether it is toys, books or clothes. And maybe create and enforce rules that respect individual privacy and property.

   I don’t want to overdo it and that's where the balance will have to come in. And I think it will be a fine balance indeed. I know that they will have some activities/things that they like to do or play with together and I should also encourage these while respecting their differences.

~Mat~